My Anxiety and I

Okay, so basically people think that anxiety is nothing serious right? That it can be cured, or you can recover from it.

THAT IS A LIE. 


You never recover. You learn how to cope, but you never recover, and anxiety should NOT be taken lightly.

Some people are lucky to have mild anxiety which could range from social anxiety to anxiety about anything. My point is all types of anxiety are valid.

Okay, basically here are the two types of anxiety that I have.

I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

Which basically means... I worry about everything. I worry about 10/24 hours a day. Its exhausting. It's like having this constant nagging that tells me I will screw up if I do something that is out of my comfort zone, or basically just.. my own voices that keep repeating in my head. "Am I good enough?" "Will I succeed?" "What if people don't like me?" "I really need to stop laughing like that." "God, I am so weird and lame"

Basically.. Negative thoughts take over, and make my anxiety a lot worse..

Also! Due to my deafness, I have social anxiety. I worry about what I say, I worry when people don't text me back, I worry when I make a joke, is it not funny enough, I worry about pissing people off. I worry about pretty much saying anything. Its just a pain in the ass. Even now, I worry about writing about anxiety even though, I shouldn't be worried.

I just worry about saying things that come out wrong, when I do not mean things a specific way, or another way.

I worry about losing people I love, I worry about pretty much anything really. I worry that I would be good enough, I worry about... a lot of things. I worry if people hate me, which I know.

ITS A HELL OF A LOT TO WORRY ABOUT. ITS EXHAUSTING AS HELL I KNOW. 


Nevertheless, I am just a normal girl who loves to watch Netflix, chill with her friends, chat with her boyfriend and I may have anxiety but, I am trying to not let it take over my life :)