Makes me feel like looking at my own life and thinking I've accomplished nothing so far.
I feel like a huge failure because... I don't live on my own, I don't have a college degree, I don't drive, I don't get along with my family all the time, I just... Feel very down sometimes and it sucks.
Basically I'm jealous that everyone got to make friends in college, and because of that they have friends that will stay for a lifetime with them.
I'm jealous because they can travel together, and they can bring their friends over for thanksgiving, I'm jealous because... I wish I knew where I fit in in the social circle..
But at the same time I tell myself.. Maybe I wasn't meant to fit in anywhere. So right now, I've been struggling to find a creative outlet to grow and accomplish as myself. And to find what I need in life.
Just basically... Me.
I'm a person who gets insecure at times, I'm almost always anxious, but hiding it in front of people is what I'm good at. Blogging helps me escape my anxiety. It helps me escape the grasps that anxiety holds on me.
People don't understand that anxiety is real. It's not a simple "omg I wore the wrong shirt today lol I'm so embarrassed" no. If I wear the wrong shirt or I wear something that screws up my entire outfit, my whole mood shifts.
Another thing. For some people, "Oh he won't text back, no biggie" for me, "was it something I said? Oh no, did something happen? Is everything okay with us?" And that's a problem I face all the time.
I'm working on it, I don't fully recover from anxiety but... I'm learning how to cope and that's all that matters :)
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